should i or should i not?

it has been around 2 on going 3 years with them now. But somehow although i have be with them for such not really long nor short time, i don't really feel appreciated and wanted here. :( i mean yeah after so long and yet i still feel that way feel like a amateur a newbie that doesn't know anything at all. Sadly but yeah that's the truth i have been so depressed about it and disappointed.They could just simply ask you to leave as if you don't do anything for them well i am mentally and physically prepared to accept any form of punishment that i would get. I tried to consult my close friends but ended up i will get scolded splashed with cold water. hence i stopped talking sharing it to my friends. i wanted to share out my problem but whats the point in the end what i got is sarcasm.
I just hope everything goes smoothly and safely for me.